Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
