don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
