dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
