never play flip cup with pint glasses
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
love makes seman taste better
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so much tequila, so little girl.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
