You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
