The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize