TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
