she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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