I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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