Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
