Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize