You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
