My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
