New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
