Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
