i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize