I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
