I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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