True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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