i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
