What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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