omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
