can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
