he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
