Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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