I bet he comes in French.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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