Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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