her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
