sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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