Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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