If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
