Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize