brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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