ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
