would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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