I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
