Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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