u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I wear drunk well.
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