Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Life is so much better after having sex.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Randomize
