i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
