I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
