Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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