got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
