carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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