They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
