Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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