Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think your dad took our porno
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
