So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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