chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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