i just wanna soil my oats bro
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
