Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
