Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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