Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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