Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
