I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
