considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
honey bunches of taint.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
