I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
vagina is talking i cant
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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