Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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