and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
