i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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