this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I party with great urgency now.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
